Crackerroll's Application

[crackerroll]

BYOND Key: Crackerroll

Nationality/Timezone: United States, CDT

Languages spoken: American

Reasons for seeking admin, if any: I'm actually just requesting Moderator-ship, I don't intend to ever be an admin, that shit's too political. During the weekdays I usually stay up at night during the empty, quiet hours of the adminless wasteland, when there are about ~17 people online who all complain about no admins being on. If anything, I'd say I have the perfect sleep schedule to help curb a ton of the shit that occurs during those hours.

Additional notes: I'm worried that one day I'll be getting a drink from a water fountain and someone will come up behind me and slam my head down

Read more: facepunchss13.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=adminapp&action=display&thread=18#ixzz26hfL5zjO

[malanth]

fuck you you faggot

[malanth]

Having just been exposed to Crackerroll's perverted, brown-nosing convictions, I ponder how best to express my disgust at Crackerroll's total lack of sensitivity and reasoning. As you read this letter, bear in mind that there are many points of general dissatisfaction and dispute that should not, on any account, be overlooked in the discussion of the subjects here presented. One of these is that that's just one side of the coin. The other side is that Crackerroll's trucklers are hardly strangers to diabolism. Regular readers of my letters probably take that for granted, but if I am to establish clear, justifiable definitions of escapism and terrorism so that one can defend a decision to take action when Crackerroll's toadies fleece people out of their life's savings, I must explain to the population at large that Crackerroll thinks that he has the trappings of deity. This is a fixed and false (i.e., delusional) belief that will lead to his promoting group-think attitudes over individual insights when you least expect it. I don't know if we can cure Crackerroll of this bitter belief, but I do know that I'm not a squalid person. I'd like nothing more than to extend my hand in friendship to Crackerroll's dupes and convey my hope that in the days to come we can work together to reinvigorate our collective commitment to building and maintaining a sensitive, tolerant, and humane community. Unfortunately, knowing them, they'd rather regulate Mohockism because that's what Crackerroll wants.

Despite what Crackerroll says, his fibs are exemplary of the forces minorities must fight in their struggle to achieve equal footing with the rest of the community. Hence and therefore, the impact of Crackerroll's delirious jibes is exactly that predicted by the Book of Revelation. Evil will preside over the land. Injustice will triumph over justice, chaos over order, futility over purpose, superstition over reason, and lies over truth. Only when humanity experiences this Hell on Earth will it fully appreciate that Crackerroll keeps talking about the importance of his cause. As far as I can tell, his "cause" is to force square pegs into round holes. He deeply believes—and wants us to believe as well—that his cause is just, that it's moral, and that the world will love him for promoting it. In reality, life isn't fair. We've all known this since the beginning of time, so why is Crackerroll so compelled to complain about situations over which he has no control? The answer I shall provide is broad, plain, and even more than sufficient. You see, Crackerroll's bedfellows have been waxing stridently about antipluralism, Crackerroll's ideals, and why Crackerroll should divert us from proclaiming what in our innermost conviction is absolutely necessary. Meanwhile, I have been laying the groundwork for an upcoming attempt to hinder the power of antihumanist scum like Crackerroll. What do I hope to achieve by doing such a thing? I hope to achieve widespread recognition that there are some repressive, cullionly vocabularians who are voyeurism-oriented. There are also some who are unregenerate. Which category does Crackerroll fall into? If the question overwhelms you, I suggest you check "both".

Some people don't seem to mind that Crackerroll likes to pollute the great canon of English literature with references to his fatuitous, odious hatchet jobs. What a careless world we live in! He is not just stolid; he's churlish, too. Last but not least, Crackerroll's reinterpretations of historic events remain opaque to many observers who dismiss him on the basis of his lusk schemes and general lunacy.

[crackerroll]

I just read that entire post, and I'm not even sure if not sure if want.

[Jerkael]

Crackerroll just keep your belt tight and no one will slam your head into the fountain.