Idiot tactics by and for moron traitors

[AbleRip]

O this first tactic is of attrition on the entire station. Note this tactic works best if there is no botanist or chef.

step 1: stock up on alot of 4no raisins. (I suggest filling out your box)

step 2: try your best to secretly destroy all the vending machines on the station. (you probably won't get more then 3-4 minutes of vandalism so don't murder sec if they try and get you)

step 3: wait till everyone on the station is at the point on staving. (at this point they should all be slowed to the extent where they can't run away or dodge ranged attack)

step 4:beat the ever loving shit out of every single one of them. (you may take one slave however pulling any more then one around will be difficult)

step 5: profit?

[Fiksowanie]

This second tactic only works for clowns.

step 0 (VITAL): name self "Clown Traitor"

step 1: acquire chameleon projector and parapen.

step 2: scan banana peel.

step 3: activate projector at the bridge door (protip: drop a banana peel in addition).

step 4: wait for a head to pick you up or slip, at which point you stab him.

step 5: strangle head in the vault.

step 6 (OPTIONAL): hand all-access IDs out from the HoP's Office with an energy gun and kill all heads/sec.

This has worked before.

[Name Changing Autist]

Warning, only works for Atmos Techs or Scientists

Step 1: Make superheated plasma tank

Step 2: Forgot what you had to do next and insert oxygen tank into superheated plasma, turn up to max kpa and open the valve.

Step 3: ? ? ?

Step 4: Pro- OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

[AbleRip]

Note this has actually worked before (excluding step 3)

Step 1: pray 'EMPRA'

Step 2: get a cookie

Step 3: profit???

[AbleRip]

I tried this once before with probably the weirdest outcome. However there are some requirments to do this.(You must be a shaft miner to do this,Your target has to be a griefing geneticist, and Foos must be on)

Step 1:As a traitor miner your only goal is to grab the mp 80 out in space so you can rain hell on your target like a badass.

Step 2:You must get lost in space for the rest of the round, speaking as little as possible so that everyone thinks your dead.

Step 3:Your target must run around the station trying to inject people with a monkey SE.(your still in space)

Step 4:Your target must find Roll fizzlebeef and get the ever loving shit beat the fuck out of him till he is dead.(your still in space)

Step 5: Once you return to the station raid your genetics to look for your target before running to shuttle which has been called.

Step 6: Do not be hostile what so ever everyone thinks you have been dead or just got on.

Step 7: Thank Foos for helping your retarded traitor ass

note this is a true story

[derpthestewpidgoat]

Step 1: Kill everyone

Step 2: Tell CentCom they're shit.

Step 3: Wait at the doors to the left of the escape shuttle airlocks.

Step 4: Wait for men in big black suits to come and greet you.

Step 5: Receive delicious cookies for your skill.

Step 6: Profit!

[Atheist Sex God]

Mar 30, 2014 21:55:58 GMT -5 derpthestewpidgoat said:

Step 1: Kill everyone

Step 2: Tell CentCom they're shit.

Step 3: Wait at the doors to the left of the escape shuttle airlocks

Step 4: Get BlueSpace cannon'd.

[crystalwarrior]

Mar 30, 2014 22:57:39 GMT -5 Atheist Sex God said:

Mar 30, 2014 21:55:58 GMT -5 derpthestewpidgoat said:

Step 1: Kill everyone

Step 2: Tell CentCom they're shit.

Step 3: Wait at the doors to the left of the escape shuttle airlocks

Step 4: Get BlueSpace cannon'd.

Never happened to me.
Instead, I would either get swarmed with leghorses and criers if DFD is on or get my ass handed to me from an ultra-robust centcomm official. Or a sentient xenomorph assasin. That happened too (also DFD iirc)

[Snowfat]

Step 1. Join as bartender.
Step 2. Make as many drinks as you can from memory.
Step 3. Look up the wiki to make the rest.
Step 4. Beg your target to come drink, even though they don't care.
Step 5. Give up on poisoning them and working with the chef to gib their corpse.
Step 6. RP becoming a drunken mess and lashing out at people who pass by the cafeteria.
Step 7. Regret joining as bartender.
(Step 8. Hide in your booze closet in the halls and shotgun them if they show up.)

And if you have to steal something:
Step 1. Come clean and admit your syndicate ties to security since you will fail.
Step 2. The traitor has failed!

[AbleRip]

Step 1. Join as scientist
Step 2. become a slime person
Step 3. flood science with your slime army
Step 4. yell over radio that your a syndicate and dare the station to come get you
Step 5. regret doing so
Step 6. Profit?
Step 7. have a nice and friendly chat with other dead people (none of which died from the slimes) (All of which died from your expert and highly trained slime commandos)

[NotFoos]

Step 1: Follow my guide to build a singularity in the bar
Step 2: Set up singularity beacon hidden in arrivals/pod maintenance
Step 3: "forget" all that safety bullshit I taught you, let singulo loose
Step 4: Everyone dies including you.

This is probably a horrible idea completely. It would probably help more if you put EVA in the way of your singulo beacon, just in case some ruffian decides he wants to try and survive.

[Zebidian]

Step 1: Join the nuke Ops!
Step 2: Don't get anything from the Tele-radio, and let one guy waste all the points on himself.
Step 3: Stay behind and man the coms to listen to station's chatter and provide live feedback to your squid.
Step 4: Listen as your entire Squid gets killed because they had little to no gear and the one guy who did gets gibbed by a spess carp. (shuttle called)
Step 5: Take matters into your own hands.
Step 6: Retrieve nuke disk from dead clown's backpack.
Step 7: Setup the nuke.
Step 8: Drag nuke onto shuttle, 5 seconds before detonation.
Step 9: Blow up the Emergency Shuttle.


When I did this, everyone left behind stayed alive, yet the clip still played with the station blowing up. Also, it was a crew major victory because the nuke disk was in the nuke, which was on the shuttle! >.<

[Name Changing Autist]

Apr 13, 2014 0:28:10 GMT -5 Zebidian said:

Step 2: Don't get anything from the Tele-radio Spend all the points on balloons.

[Nokington]

Apr 13, 2014 2:06:52 GMT -5 Name Changing Autist said:

Apr 13, 2014 0:28:10 GMT -5 Zebidian said:

Step 2: Don't get anything from the Tele-radio Spend all the points on balloons.

Sounds like something tinfoiltophat would do/say.

[tinfoiltophat]

Apr 13, 2014 3:04:30 GMT -5 Nokington said:

Apr 13, 2014 2:06:52 GMT -5 Name Changing Autist said:

Sounds like something tinfoiltophat would do/say.

Would do.
Would say.
Would win.